Saturday, January 16, 2016

The beginning of my HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!  I hope that it is going well for all of you.
I'm afraid mine has started off exactly how I expected it to... it is challenging to say the least.  You know I tend to have a optimistic attitude toward life, but I am starting to sway.  I have been dealing with back trouble since I was 13... when I had my first ruptured disk.  I have a degenerative disc disease.  I am now at the point that I have chronic... as in constant... back pain.  I have been living on all sorts of pain pills for years, but even more frequently this last year.  I am trying to get an appointment with a surgeon...which takes forever...and that is only to get a consultation before we can schedule the surgery.  I need someone to instal a spine stimulator in my back.
*A wire is inserted into your spine (it is 2 feet long) along with electrodes.  It has a battery pack that has to be charged once or twice a week (depending on my activity). The battery pack goes under the skin. It is also made of Titanium so that I can still have full body x rays and MRI's if needed. So that is awesome.
Now, this is supposed to block 50% or more of the pain.  So in some cases is does not relieve all of the pain, but any relief at this point would be a great improvement.  This gives me an incredible amount of excitement, because it seems that it will improve my quality of life exponentially (so very much).  Currently, aside from doctor's appointments, and physical therapy I am stuck in bed. Okay... so back to my negative event that has got me buggered (frustrated).  I pulled or strained (possibly torn) a muscle and/or ligament in my groin.  I am in so much pain that I can't stand it.  My regular medicine that is already combined with other medicines, and at their limit are not much help. I have been trying to go to physical therapy and do my exercises... because after a year of mental/emotional therapy I am finally letting go of the past and ready to take care of myself better.  I have lost about 10 pounds so far, even though better movement is my real goal, so needless to say... I am really motivated to keep going.  However, all this movement is NOT helping my groin pull heal.  I don't really know what to do.  I have doctor's advice and physical therapist advice, both of which conflict.  So I don't know which way to turn.
As you can see... this is not the beginning of the new year that I was hoping for. I am trying to work on my mind in the mean time.  I read, and write.  I love to draw (I would love to get to the point where I feel confident enough to create some children's picture books.  This is one of many of my dreams to be a author. So, I draw... A LOT.  I also watch YouTube a lot, but not the garbage.  I am trying to brush up on my personal make-up skills,(all part of taking better care of myself).  Just because I am in bed does not mean that I can't look pretty.  I am also watching How-To-Draw videos for how to draw better and different.  I also like to watch things that make me laugh, teach me, and educate me.  I am also trying to do more blogging.  Starting today.  It has been a long time since I wrote anything. I have come to believe that I am more than my parts. So as I go through this process... I will try to journal a little more.  I feel like I might help someone who is in the same boat.  We all need a little encouragement and news.  Maybe someone needs relief from pain, but does not know that there is a chance to get help... in a different way.
I guess to sum it up... I hope that the year will get better.  I hope that I can give you something to think about, and maybe even encourage someone else.  Here's to a hopeful new year.  I am not giving up yet.  I wish you all well.  Thanks everyone for giving your time to me. More soon... Bye.