Friday, February 24, 2017

Patience and Dreaming

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.
- Unknown 💕

  Patience is a virtue that is agonizing to develop, grow, and nurture. It is very difficult to see the forest for the trees. How often do we  have to look at our trials in hindsight before we can see the purpose in our trials. How often do we struggle, kick, and rail against the life we are living, the circumstances we are in, or the consequences of choices that we have made?      Patience is a word that if you shout it in a crowded room would have to hold on to something bolted down, because you will be blown away by the sighs let out by the crowd in front of you.
Patience is hard to develop and even harder to wait through. It makes us cringe. It makes us groan. It can make us loose heart and faith. It can depress us and make us wish even harder to the point of agony. We cannot see how fast life is flying by us. Everything is instant these days. Even waiting fifteen seconds for something to load on our devices can drive us crazy. However, when we look at our children grow, when we see the seasons change, and we watch our skin change, and wrinkles appear, and our hair begins to grey, and all the time we are thinking... I'm still young. I'm still vital. I'm still living and capable.
My childhood does not seem so far away. I can still remember what it felt like to squish the mud between my fingers and toes. The smell of the paste that we used on our first art project. We remember the way it felt to lay in the grass and feel the breeze and see shapes in the clouds.  I remember the way the bubbles felt when they "popped" in our face and made us giggle. The way that rain felt on our heads as we jumped, laughed, and splashed in the rain puddles. How did I get so old? Where did the time go? What happened to my dreams? What happened to the time that I thought I had?  I have recently gotten in touch with my oldest and dearest friends. I see the success they have enjoyed, the families they have made and I see the amazing women that they have become. I feel so inadequate.
  There is a tug of war constantly being played between patience, and dreaming and waiting. It is agonizing. But dreaming has to be followed up with the dreaded words,"hard work".  I've heard my children say..., "I want to do..." this or that, "but I'm not good at it." They don't yet understand that you have to try, practice, and develop your skills. You have to work for it.
When I started to write my novel, I was convinced that it was good enough, even with it being my first time. I had rewritten it a couple of times, and thought it was good and that was it. I was also dreaming about being an author for as long as I could remember.  However, I barely made it through school.  I was one of those kids you hear about that slipped through the cracks. I was determined, but where do you begin. My older brother believed in me and proceeded to tell me that I should do it again. I was heartbroken and honestly a little mad. After some time passed though I thought again about what he said, and I realized that he was not telling me to give up, or that I was not good enough. He was telling me what I needed to know. He was saying that I needed to try... again... I can do it. It was good, but not ready. I'm sad to say that I am still circling that process, while taking time to get myself healthy. That is enough of a tax in itself, but I'm getting there. I hope to get back to that work soon. I even blog about my writing on my other site, but it does take a lot of work, study, practice, and so on, but I'm not ready to give up on that dream yet.  Dang do I have some work to do!
  So my point is... Patience cannot progress for your good without work. We have a saying in my church also that says, "Faith without works is dead."  Well... there you go. Patience is not just a waiting game.  It cannot be. Dreams won't fall into your lap. You have to practice, learn, practice some more, and keep working hard at it. You have to keep trying, and working. You can't do one without the other.
  I  have found that dreaming is never going to be enough, but more than that I have to trust that if I do my work and my part, the Lord (that I believe in) will, in the right time, allow that dream to come true. He believes in me, because he made me. He knows what I am capable of, and knows what is good for me, what is bad for me, and when it is the right time to bless me with that dream coming true. He cannot give us some things until we have done our part. Would your employer pay you if you don't work? I don't think so. Will your skills grow without practice and education get better... to the point of recognition? Will you get to where you dream of going without the work it takes to be your best. What do you tell yourself? What do you or would you say to your children if you have them, or a niece, nephew... whatever. What would you tell them if they told you their dream? I believe that only a cruel, vicious, and small person would tell them to give up. That they were never going to get anywhere in life and nothing is ever going to go right. On the other hand I don't think you would advise them to sit still and simply wait.
  What is it that you have to do... to make your dream come true? What is going to help your patience seem more like effort than just waiting? What is it that you will do... today... to make it happen for you? Will you be to proud to ask for help or advice?  Will you be to lazy to work at it? Will you guess at the way to accomplish your dream, or will you get the education or training that you will need to keep moving forward and stop dreaming, and finally become?  Be patient, but work hard. It will pay off... I promise.

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