Monday, July 6, 2015

Just Because...

I love this quote but I struggle with the message... not the message exactly, but in believing its truth.  Trust is hard, but patience is torture.  We all dream, but not all dreams are fulfilled.  There is nothing more difficult than living with regret. I'm only 42 and I already feel like my life is over, or that my chance to succeed has passed. Now logically I look around and see people who are twice my age and older, so realistically I still have time, but it is hard when you work, and work, and practice and do all you can to learn what you need to know and still nothing happens.  It is a frustration that can drive you to all sorts of limits.  
If you do not believe in God, are not sure, or just do not... I won't assume to tell you otherwise... this is just what I have come to believe.  If you decide to keep reading... thanks... I try to be open minded too.
That said, I believe that we have to try to remember that God may not answer our prayers right away, or in the way that we expect or want, but he does answer us.  God always knows better than we do what we need.  He knows if something we want will be for our good or not.  He knows if something will have consequences that we might not be able to see.  It is not to say that that makes the process easier.  Often we cannot see the forest for the trees. That means (by my interpretation) that sometimes if we are too close to the moment and our circumstance, or are too clouded in our judgement by the desire for the see the full picture.  Maybe we have more to learn... maybe we are not prepared enough yet... maybe we have to practice some more (our talent), or maybe it is just not the right thing for us, despite our strong, torturing desire for it.  Does that mean that we not good enough, smart enough, talented enough...? Not necessarily.  Maybe we are just not ready for whatever blessings can come if we take that path.  Maybe we can't handle the consequences that we can't foresee.  Maybe there is a different, better path that it is meant for us to take.
Have you ever heard of "God's Timing"?  It is when He decides the best timing for an event to happen.  That can be painful.  It is torture really. Patience is waiting... and I hate waiting, but sometimes it's what is best for us.  Even if it sucks.
So... I am 42... I have not realized all of my dreams... but does that mean that I should give up?  I hope not.  Some days I want to, but should I?  My family believes in me.  I have had friends who support my dream and think that I could do it.  That helps, but it is a hard thing to wait for.
So what do you do in the meantime?  I study... I practice... I write... I read... I watch tutorials on how to improve my talent, and I keep trying.  I hope one day I will be ready.  If that day comes... the world will know it, because of my girly screeches echoing from the rooftops.  I dream... I just hope that I don't dream too big.  Is there such a thing? Can you dream too big?  Look at the people around you that have reached their goals, accomplished their dreams, have incredible talents and have been recognized for them... even look at those around you who are still trying.  I hope you find inspiration there.  I will try to do that too, and if you think about it... a little prayer never hurts. Good luck my friends.   

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